mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
