My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
