Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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