Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
