Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she smelled like a LAN party
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
