I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
