It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
