We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
