I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We left an ass print on the piano.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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