It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
