my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
