you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
