I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This beer is not sobering me up at all
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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