im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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