I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
so much tequila, so little girl.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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