it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
