She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
