It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
