420 ftw
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
