She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
