This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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