every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We're too hungover to prance.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
