god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize