Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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