we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
