I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
