I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
