HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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