p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
