my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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