I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
