Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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