If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
