Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
