She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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