1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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