where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
