Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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