Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
