i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
