Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
