How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
