Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
