Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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