your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
