this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
