her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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