What did we do last night that was yellow?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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