does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
