so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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