Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
