im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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