This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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