So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
