I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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