Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
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