Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
