I wish life had little blips of pornography
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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