Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize