Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
