No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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