i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
